brain jerky

When the lights go down in the city.

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 23:33:15 -0500

When the lights go down in the city.

I want macaroni & cheese.

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:51:00 -0500

I want macaroni & cheese.

wallofdis: Everyone has to stop what they’re doing and watch...

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 14:29:00 -0500

wallofdis:

Everyone has to stop what they’re doing and watch this because otherwise Thanksgiving can’t start. Thanks.

185 degrees?! Alton Brown (and I) firmly believe that the turkey is moist (and safe) at 161 degrees. And don’t forget that your bird will keep cooking after you remove it from the oven.

A Review of Derrick & Katie's Apartment-Cum-B&B

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 15:22:00 -0400

After Hurricane Sandy turned Lower Manhattan into a dead zone (no power, cell service, hot water, or reliable ramen purveyors), we sought refuge at a delightful B&B in Harlem. Some 108 blocks and several avenues from our East Village home, we relished the opportunity to take advantage of this charming locale’s shower, internet access, and pleasant innkeepers. While the storm had lowered our expectations, we still ventured uptown with a discerning eye and critical nature.

Street parking is abundant in Harlem, so finding a spot for our car was not a problem. Derrick and Katie, a young newlywed couple, welcomed us at the door. The absence of a bellhop required that we carry in our own bags, which was made more challenging by the presence of our two dogs. This oversight was forgiven, however, when the innkeepers welcomed our furry companions with head pats and belly rubs.

The B&B included a spacious business center with an ample supply of outlets. Internet access was free – almost unheard of in most New York City accommodations – and password protected for security. Derrick was quick to share the code and our computers, iPhones, and iPads were connecting us to news with the outside world.

The business center doubled as a lounge for guests, with a television, Xbox, and dog-friendly couch. We were pleased when both Derrick and Katie joined us for some relaxation, as well as all of our meals. So many innkeepers mind their own business and give their guests privacy. Such behavior can be alarming. Our hosts never left our sides, which kept our concerns that they might kill us at bay.

Along with being the owner of the B&B, Derrick is also the chef. What he lacked in bellhop initiative he more than made up for with culinary prowess. He whipped up a delicious pan-Asian buffet dinner that also included a batch of homemade split pea soup (in case we were scared off by his ethnic cuisine). We cleaned our plates (and then cleaned our plates – so much for busboys) before retiring back to the lounge.

The bathroom overflowed with amenities. A shower, sink, toilet, and towel racks left us to pick our jaws up off the floor. The water pressure was reminiscent of scenes from Spike Lee movies with children frolicking around fire hydrants. The abundance of knobs provided the opportunity to turn things while bathing, a welcome alternative to the boredom that we experienced in our powerless home. The bath mats were both comfortable underfoot and absorbent.

The business center tripled as the guest bedroom. The queen-sized AeroBed inflated in minutes, and the shark sheets were a whimsical touch that left us smiling our way to sleep.

Derrick was back to work in the kitchen for breakfast and served up his homemade bacon with eggs. The wait for our food was quite long, which put a damper on what should have been a pleasant start to our final day in Harlem. However, lunch – an unexpected service at this locally-owned charmer – was both promptly served and delicious.

Overall, Derrick and Katie have acquitted themselves well as operators of this unpretentious bungalow in one of Manhattan’s most historic neighborhoods. From hot water to electricity, this place has it all. We highly recommend a stay here during your next natural disaster.

An insanely huge THANK YOU to Derrick and Katie for taking all four of us in while the East Village remains dark in the dead zone. They and their apartment are fantastic and we’re so lucky to have them in our lives.

My tweet on CNBC. Speaking truth to power.

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 08:43:53 -0400

My tweet on CNBC. Speaking truth to power.

Because why the hell not.

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 12:50:51 -0400

Because why the hell not.

Wordsmithing by SI.com.

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 10:57:20 -0400

Wordsmithing by SI.com.

eliotglazer: Guaranteed you’ll love all of these. This is...

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 16:44:44 -0400

eliotglazer:

Guaranteed you’ll love all of these.

This is inspired.

The irony is extra thick on Avenue B this morning. (Taken with...

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 08:22:20 -0400

The irony is extra thick on Avenue B this morning. (Taken with Instagram)

eliotglazer: :-O … … :-O I want to abandon all of my friends,...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 17:48:58 -0400

eliotglazer:

:-O

…

…

:-O

I want to abandon all of my friends, join up with the group of people in this video, and start a whole new life.

Happy birthday, Alex.

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 08:10:12 -0400

Happy birthday, Alex.

My wedding was the bees knees.

Sun, 19 Aug 2012 21:46:50 -0400

My wedding was the bees knees.

"We welcome Paul Brady into our studio and into our hearts."

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 21:17:04 -0400

“We welcome Paul Brady into our studio and into our hearts.”

- HuffPost Live

Also, “boob juice.”

"And my thinking was “We have to at least make it through the appetizers, because maybe when we have..."

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:10:37 -0400

“And my thinking was “We have to at least make it through the appetizers, because maybe when we have food we’ll feel better.” That was not in fact the case but it was wishful thinking.”

- Dans Le Noir - Shitshows - Eater NY (via alexanderbasek)

In which Jordana and I perform our "secret" handshake after being pronounced husband and wife

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 11:51:25 -0400

"Here’s your magical template. Write “Introductions!” in the subject line. (Maybe don’t use an..."

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 13:53:32 -0400

“Here’s your magical template. Write “Introductions!” in the subject line. (Maybe don’t use an exclamation point if, for example, one of the two people in your introduction is a grief counselor, a lawyer, a drug lord, or an escort service. I don’t know what you get up to in your free time.) Then write, “[Name], meet [Other name]. [Name], [Other name] is the person I was telling you about who [is selling item/can help with thing/is new to your area/whatever].” Then, on the next line, on its own so it is VERY clear, write, “I’ll let you two chat!” Then sign the email with something like “Have a great day! [Your name]” You (should) have provided your acquaintances with sufficient evidence that you do not wish to be included in their email chain going forward. If they STILL reply all, email “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Don’t talk to me! Don’t look at me!” Or just ignore it, ugh.”

- Useful Email Rules at FWD (via interweber)

Yes.

"[N]o one uses the toilet the same way."

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 15:22:56 -0400

““[N]o one uses the toilet the same way.””

- Why Toilets Are Still Made of Porcelain

Huh.

"By no means is this an indictment to the new, younger generation, it is more of an admission that..."

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 12:22:55 -0400

“By no means is this an indictment to the new, younger generation, it is more of an admission that much of the steady business for bars and restaurants has moved to Brooklyn and the high residential rents have stripped the neighborhood of the artistic/cultured feel it used to be known for. Mama’s Food Shop has weathered these changes, including surviving the recession, but as these changes started affecting our business, I realized it was the end of an era.”

- EV Grieve: Mama’s Food Shop closes after 15 years; ‘the community nature of the neighborhood has all but vanished’ (via alexanderbasek)

I’ll miss you, fried chicken and mac & cheese.

paulbrady: At Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles, you can make the staff...

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 08:00:13 -0400

paulbrady:

At Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodles, you can make the staff pose with Guy Fieri, but you can’t make them smile when they do.

Some folks just prefer Paula Deen.

paulbrady: At one shop, an English schoolteacher visiting Oman...

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 12:09:19 -0400

paulbrady:

At one shop, an English schoolteacher visiting Oman by way of Zimbabwe helped me pick out a silver bangle for my girlfriend while we talked about theater in New York. Hearing that I lived in the States, the owner of the shop piped up to tell me that he spends most of the year living in Bethlehem. Pennsylvania.

My second dispatch from the Middle East, Exploring the Unexpected Delights of Oman.

Read this.